How to gain confidence?

Confidence is the feeling that you can indeed complete a difficult or even dangerous task. You ask yourself, ‘Can I do it?’ and then answer, ‘I sure can.’ Feeling confident means you are sure of your skills and ability to succeed in a task. Lack of confidence means you aren’t sure that you can complete an activity successfully.

How does one develop confidence?

Your confidence in being able to do something is based on your track record of succeeding in various similar tasks. The feeling of self-confidence is learned and can be passed from one task to another.

Why people aren’t confident

A person gains confidence by successfully doing something and acknowledging that achievement. This internal acknowledgment is recorded in the mind as, ‘I can do this again.’ One reason people aren’t is because they often don’t acknowledge their achievement and may even demean what they have done. They put their achievement down by saying something like, ‘Oh, I was just lucky’ or ‘It wasn’t all that good.’ Another reason some people aren’t confident is because they look at a task or a goal as a large entity. They perceive success or failure as the final outcome, which may come after days or months of toiling. There are yet another group of people. They purposely take on tasks that are way over their head, such that they are assured of failure. They do this to re-enforce their perceived lack of self-confidence. There is some strange psychology involved in this situation.

How to gain confidence

The way to gain confidence is to break tasks into smaller units, acknowledge your success for each step, and learn from your mistakes to re-enforce your confidence. Before you set out to perform a task or try to achieve a goal, you must realize that the activity is really a series of smaller steps. Don’t wait until the end to determine if you are successful or not. Enjoy each moment and for each one of these steps or mini-tasks, you must acknowledge your success. Congratulate yourself each time you succeed. If you don’t do well, correct your error. Don’t admonish yourself, except in extreme cases.

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