Rejection is a part of life, and it’s important that children learn how to deal with setbacks — whether they’re cut from a sports team or left out of a clique. Here’s some advice on how to ease the hurt.

What causes rejection?

Rejection is an inevitable part of growing up. All children at one time or another feel rejected by their peers. The reasons are often silly. A child’s appearance (weight, race, a disability), manner (such as a stutter or a typical gender behavior), economic or ethnic background, poor social skills, or personality (being aggressive, withdrawn, anxious, overly sensitive, or quick to take offense) can all be the factors leading to his/her being rejected by their peers.

What do you do when you are snubbed?

Tell yourself that life is not a popularity contest. When you are snubbed it can bring up odd feelings of rejection. But brooding over something that didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be is not going to help. Don’t wallow in self pity.

So what if you were dropped from your school soccer team? Understand that what is important is your happiness, and not being in the soccer team. So, you must try and find ways to make yourself feel better. This will give you the opportunity to see yourself as someone who can survive a difficult social situation. You may be surprised to find out that you have more inner resources than you think.

Treat others as you’d like to be treated

Don’t forget that there have been times when you were the rejecter, when you played the bully. It is important that you don’t make those mistakes again. Understand the importance of empathy in making and keeping friendships and you are going to be loved by everybody.